The Fredösphere

Remember that alternate universe in Star Trek where Kirk is evil and Spock has a goatee?  It turns out there is an alternate universe called Michigan State University where my alter ego directs music at the campus Lutheran chapel and promotes his own music compositions online.  Somehow a portal has opened between his world and ours, allowing us to become aware of one another.  Clearly, this state is unstable; we cannot allow one another to exist.  Combat unto death is inevitable.  Slaves!  Prepare the arena!  Sharpen my bat'leth!  My enemy will cower like a dog before my wrathful countenance.  This abomination -- this "Michigan State University" -- will disappear in a blinding flash of metaphysical self-contradiction when I slay the impostor, ha ha!